Remembrance Of Things Crappy

Remember when it used to be fun to get mail? For most of us this period of our lives coincide with that of virtually no responsibility and, perhaps more to the point, no utilities in our names. You see, what was once a rare exciting event (Hey! The new issue of Boys' Life!) is now a daily occurence filled with credit card offers and Pottery Barn catalogs (thanks, Dawson). As adults, we are filled with a special sadness that comes only with a love turned wrong. That is... Unless...

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...we are returned to our innocent, joyous child-like state with the discovery of internet shopping sites like Woot! and SteepAndCheap. And if we order enough junk, we can even be caught by an unexpected package that we had forgetten was on the way. This is precisely what happened to me this evening.

I returned home from work to see a Woot! box sitting outside my door. It only took a few seconds to recall that I had been one of the lucky wooters recemtly to get a bag of crap along with his woot! off lights.




And Woot! you really outdid yourself this time, as it is even crappier than the last. A rundown:

Left column - 3 Yankees dry erase boards (total crap!), 3 more Sansa MP3 players (1 is missing a button - what crap!), woot off! lights (not official crap), 3 international outlet adapters? (but to adapt to what? unclear. but clearly crappy!), iPod dock cable and accessories (iCrap!), a battery (to what? who knows. probably to something crappy.)

Right column - SpongeBob SquarePants backpack (kid crap!), Leatherman wannabe multi-tool (knock-off crap!), blood pressure monitor (crap for a healthier you - or just more aware of the unhealthy you), refurb Microsoft Zune (clunky crap!), not sure, weatherstripping? (unknown crap!), EyeTV tuner, antenna, and software - without required tuner! (literally useless crap!)


And my personal favorite: install CD for Polaroid camcorder (no camcorder), blank (?) CD, and a manual for a Kodak digital picture frame (frame not included). Honestly there were also little bits and chunks of other things as well. I imagine Woot! headquarters having a large crap bin, and come bag of crap time, workers just go over a pull a lever emptying an appropriate bag size of crap into a box. Similar to a soft serve ice cream machine. Thanks again, Woot! It was crap. But I liked it!