Something I Can Shoot My Eye Out With

Sure, I know that titled ended in a preposition, but it seems a little pretentious (actually considering this blog, extremely pretentious... on second thought, I think the word pretentious is a little pretentious) to be to proper in this space. On third thought, this whole paragraph is seeming pretentious. Unfortunately my Backspace key fell off yesterday, so starting over...

Things I want for Christmas. That's what this post is about. Me, me, gimme, gimme.

OK, that's not quite right either.

Due to popular demand - and my apologies on the tardiness of this for those who have been clamoring for days, if not week (yes week... not weeks) - I give you the latest installment of my Christmas List. 2010 Edition. As usual, it will be a mixture of class, whimsy, and idiocy. The same mixture that resides within me. Also, literally the mixture that resides in me as I'm just polishing off a cocktail of Macallan, Grape Kool Aid, and Mr. Clean General Purpose Household Cleaner.

Being the eternal student that I am, books are always on the list. And what better way to simultaneously stir my intellect and indulge my predisposition for being super manly than a book of super manly stories?

Also of interest are Microcosmos and another we should all read, as well as any other book you think I'd like. And since I think it's important to learn about what my special lady likes, my own copy of Twilight.

The time of the horse in the Wild West has passed us by, now something like this would be ideal for traversing the wilderness. Of course, that's a bit rugged for the daily grind, so one would need a nice and sensible commuter, take this Dodge for instance.

priced to sell!

Whilst away in my Rally Fighter coupe for a weekend in the sticks, a nice knife like the Gerber Epic would come in handy. Since rubbing sticks together went the way of the horse, the Soto Pocket Torch starts fires nicely by turning your trusty Bic into a flamethrower. And no better way to keep that cowboy coffee hot after the fire goes out than this classic Stanley thermos.

Being a 21st Century man (the era, not the real estate company), there are many layers to this onion. Even though I may have the appearance of the second coming of Paul Bunyan, I have a refined side as well. Which couldn't be happier than listening to some pops and whizzes on my gold-armed Denon DP-A100.

sexy

Unfortunately large speakers aren't ideal for my current dwelling, so I'd be enjoying the a great tribute album (or anything by Ramblin' Jack Elliot) on a pair of sweet soundalicious cans. (Seriously though, these or these more reasonably priced phones would be awesome.) As you might expect, maintenance costs for such sophisticated hobbies can be a bit taxing on the wallet, so investments on my behalf are welcome as well; Berkshire Hathaway would be my preference and just a couple shares would do fine.

On a serious note though, I enjoy anything unique and fun (toys are always good). In particular, I would really appreciate some clever, quality coasters and refrigerator magnets. I never can get enough sweet tees (like this on on homage.com), but my favorite gifts are usually the things I would never think to put on a list. As always anything Wabash is sweet or any of my other schools for that matter (actually a Martinsville swimming tee would be super nice!). In the end though, the best thing is getting to go home and see all my loved ones... and get sick on ring-a-lings. Can't wait!